Revisiting Emotional Intelligence in a Changing World
A few years ago, I wrote an article called Emotional Intelligence Pearls that was published in a church magazine. It was born out of a growing concern during the COVID-19 pandemic, when loneliness and isolation were quietly becoming an epidemic of their own. Beyond the pandemic context, I also wanted to convey a broader message to my readers, that while being smart and technically skilled can open many doors, yet it is how we understand ourselves and relate to the people around us that truly shapes the quality of our lives and relationships.
Fast forward a few years, and honestly, that idea feels more relevant now than ever. Think about the world we are living in today, technology can answer almost any question in seconds, artificial intelligence can tackle tasks that once took an entire workday, and many of us can work, shop, learn, and stay connected without ever stepping out the front door. It is truly remarkable when you stop and think about it.
But here is the thing, with all these incredible advances, one fundamental truth remains unchanged. We still need to know how to connect with people, and perhaps most importantly, with ourselves. No app or algorithm can do that for us. And that is exactly where emotional intelligence comes in.
So, What Exactly Is Emotional Intelligence?
According to Britannica, Emotional intelligence (EI) is a set of psychological faculties that enable individuals to perceive, understand, express, and control their emotions and to discern and respond appropriately to the emotions of others. It is what helps you stay motivated when things get hard, read a room when the energy shifts, and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
Emotionally intelligent people tend to build stronger relationships, communicate more effectively, and handle life's ups and downs with greater grace. In short, emotional intelligence is not just about being in touch with your feelings. It is about using that awareness wisely, in how you lead, how you listen, how you love, and how you show up for yourself and others every single day.
Think about everyday life. Can you recognize when you're frustrated before that frustration turns into an unnecessary argument? Can you receive feedback without immediately becoming defensive? Can you sense that someone you care about is struggling, even when they tell you they're "fine"?
Those moments require something that can't simply be measured by how much we know. They require emotional intelligence.
When I originally wrote about EI in 2020, I highlighted five areas commonly associated with emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. They remain useful today, but here's how I think about them in everyday language:
- Self-awareness: Do I recognize my strengths, weaknesses, emotions, and the effect my behavior has on others?
- Self-regulation: Can I pause before reacting, especially when I'm angry, disappointed, criticized, or under pressure?
- Motivation: Can I keep moving toward meaningful goals even when progress is slow or no one is applauding?
- Empathy: Can I step outside my own experience long enough to consider what someone else may be feeling?
- Social skills: Can I communicate, build relationships, manage disagreements, and work with people whose perspectives may differ from mine?
While none of these skills require perfection, they require conscious awareness and practice.
Why Does It Matter?
Emotional intelligence shows up everywhere including in how we parent, how we respond to our spouses, how we handle disagreements, and even how we treat a stranger having a rough day. It matters far beyond the workplace, though research does confirm it plays a meaningful role there too. A 2023 meta-analysis linked EI to employability, career satisfaction, adaptability, and better decision-making.
But the stakes feel even bigger now. In 2025, the World Health Organization reported that roughly one in six people worldwide experiences loneliness and has called for greater attention to social health alongside physical and mental well-being. In a world where we are digitally connected almost constantly, it is worth pausing to ask: are we actually getting better at truly connecting with one another?
Emotional Intelligence in the Age of AI
Artificial intelligence can help us find the right words. But we still have to decide whether those words should be said. We still have to listen, recognize when we have hurt someone, extend grace, set healthy boundaries, and appreciate that another person's perspective may look very different from our own. The more technologically advanced our world becomes, the more intentional we may need to be about developing the human skills that technology simply cannot practice for us.
The Good News: We Can Grow
Here is what I love most about emotional intelligence; it is not fixed. Research suggests these skills can be developed through practice, and growth often begins in ordinary moments. Pause before reacting. Listen to understand, not just to respond. Ask yourself, what is it like to experience me?
Our world will keep changing. But our need to understand ourselves and connect meaningfully with others is not going anywhere, and that makes emotional intelligence worth developing, one intentional moment at a time.
Emotionally intelligent people tend to bring something special to every room they walk into, including empathy, positivity, and a quiet sense of purpose. And the beautiful thing is, developing that kind of intelligence is not a destination. It is a lifelong journey, one that enriches not only our careers but the relationships and moments that make life truly meaningful.
References
- Ogunsemowo, Adejuwon A. Emotional Intelligence Pearls. JHDC Impact Magazine, 2021 Edition, Page 33, accessed at https://jesushousedc.org/impact-magazine/ on August 27, 2026
- Pirsoul T., Paramentier M., Sovet L., et al. (2023). Emotional intelligence and career-related outcomes: A meta-analysis.Human Resource Management Review, 33(3), 100967.
- World Health Organization. (2025). From loneliness to social connection: Charting a path to healthier societies—Report of the WHO Commission on Social Connection.